my thing

this is my thing

I have had the thought that I was one hack or experience away from finally getting my groove for as long as I can remember. It’s a thought that’s quietly mocked me without my even noticing, honestly. It’s hung out around the edges of my confidence for so long that I didn’t even realize that my definition of “confidence” was built on a foundation of second-guesses and tepid half-steps.

Maybe this job will be the one that makes me fulfilled.

Maybe this relationship will be the one that makes me calm.

Maybe this piece of advice will make me centred once and for all.

Maybe this practice will make me unafraid.

Except I’m in my 40s now and know that is all bullshit. Like, in theory I know that it is bullshit but I still secretly cross my fingers and hope for it when the all-knowing algorithm presents me with yet another promising/validating looking article or TikTok.

Truth is though, there is no ONE answer.

I know this. You know this, right? We know this. So given this hard-won reality, I pledge on this 1st of January to stop taking my search for THE experience/hack/trick/advice seriously and just DO stuff for the next year.

(Because as much as I know there is no ONE thing, I’m beginning to understand (like really deep in the ageless, edge-less parts my guts understand) that the homecoming is in the doing… not the planning or the pontificating or the navel gazing or the theorizing… but in the stepping, skipping, diving, fiddling, shuffling, tripping, stomping… DOING)

the rules

My plan for the next year is to try something new every month for the next 12 months. Because of how my brain works, I have some rules for myself:

  1. I must try something new every month: My definition of “new” is pretty loose, I think. Further work on this TBD.
  2. I must do said thing at least 2 times every month: I imagine some things would be the kind of thing I could do more than that, but I must do the thing at least 2 times.
  3. I have to do the thing in some way with other people. It’s not enough for me to sit alone my house and do the thing, I have to engage with other people in some way.
  4. I can’t do too many serious/productive things. If I do something “constructive” one month I have to do something frivolous the next.
  5. I have to be able to jump into the thing with fairly short notice. For example, I would love to go to space Star Trek style, but I’m pretty sure I can’t arrange that in 4 weeks (if you know otherwise please let me know!).
  6. I will write about each experience here + (Instagram)

I think that is it. I may expand on this list, or not. Let’s see how this goes!

First up: Axe throwing (frivolous right?)

Suggestions welcome – do you have things that you love that you think I should try? Comment below or let me know somehow.

Thank you for joining me on this experiment…

3 thoughts on “this is my thing”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s